Too Much Information

I’m on day three of my three-day vacation from work. Yesterday, I took my mother over near the Tetons for touristy purposes. Here’s the evidence:

Yes, I convinced everyone to let me do an ascent of Rendezvous Mountain while we were over there. It didn’t go super well, though. I realized that while I’m pretty strong in terms of short-term anaerobic power (I was climbing some pretty steep pitches before my legs went kaput), my cardiorespiratory endurance isn’t quite up to snuff, which is my way of saying I lost steam in the last couple of miles.

Of course, the solution to that little problem is obvious: Do some aerobic work. So this morning, my recovery day from yesterday’s uphill-fest, I went to the pool. For months now, I’ve been squeezing in a few laps, usually only 1,000 yards at a time, while wearing my old Speedo loose swim shorts. Today was no different, except that after a couple of hundred yards, my shorts didn’t quite feel right. So at about the 250-yard mark, I stopped to check out the situation. And then I had a "holy crap!" moment.

My shorts had completely ripped open in the front.

Maybe I didn’t write that with enough emphasis, so let me try again:
MY SHORTS HAD COMPLETELY RIPPED OPEN IN THE FRONT!!!

So yeah, my rear end was covered, but not my front end. I might as well have been skinny dipping—AT THE CITY POOL!!!

But then, after a moment of alarm, I realized that my rear end was still covered, and there was still a small section of unbroken cloth across the front, which was keeping the sides of my legs covered up. "What the heck," I thought, "why not keep swimming?" So I did. I completed my 1,000 yards, deliberately avoiding the backstroke, and then I held my shorts together as I jumped out of the pool. I paid good money for that swimming pool punch card, after all.

Anyway, I don’t think I flashed anyone (although, come to think of it, the guy in the next lane did give me a weird look as I walked up to get in the pool), so I don’t know why I’m broadcasting this all over the blogosphere. I just figured I’d share a laugh with you, I guess.

Feel free to thank me for not posting pics of that part of the story, eh?

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