Okay, so I’ve been having a little trouble tracking down a relay team for the race in June. (Perhaps because it’s still March?) So far I’ve had half a dozen people tell me, "I’d love to do it, but my (insert relative here) is coming to town that weekend." Or then there’s "That would be awesome, but I’m moving to Alaska …" like I’ve never heard THAT one before.

I’d hate to say that I’m getting desperate, but I really expected this to be easier. I’ve had at least two or three guys in my apartment complex stop me as I rode by on my road bike and say, "Hey, I mountain bike; you wanna go sometime?" Which, I realize, doesn’t always mean that they like to race as well, but I do know a few guys who like to put in the speed too. One even specifically told me, "I wanted to do the 24 hours of Moab last year, but we couldn’t get a relay team together." I hear ya there, buddy (this is the guy who’s moving to Alaska).

Okay, so now I’m down to my ‘B’ list. These people aren’t on the ‘B’ list because they’re bad; they’re on there because I seriously doubt they’ll do it. I have a cousin who races the Intermountain Cup each year, and usually places pretty high, but the fact that he does so much racing probably means he won’t have the time in his schedule to come do a relay with little ol’ Caloi. I have another cousin who grew up mt biking at every opportunity but has since increased in waiste size (that doesn’t stop some of you). His response, "It sounds like fun, but I’m too out of shape for that stuff." (Nonetheless, he told me he’ll be spending a little more time on the trainer this year to get rid of that mid-section.)

I feel like an Amway peddler or something: "Hey, this is your cousin Caloi, I’m just calling to let you know that there’s this one really cool race I’m trying to get a team together for, and I thought maybe you’d like to joi–" (click followed by dial tone). "Hey, this is cousin Caloi, has the road rash healed up from the last time we went for a ride together?" (repeat above-described reaction) "Hey, this is cousin Caloi. You know how when we were kids I let you beat me up and steal my favorite lego pieces? Well now’s your chance to pay me back–"

Ah, but then there’s my co-worker, D, the recent purchaser of the new Trek 5000. D has done his fair share of mt bike races in the past and just this past year caught the Lotoja bug (and you were worried about bird flu), which means he’ll be looking for some distance and speed training. Perfect. Even better, D has brothers (and brothers-in-law) who mt bike, and they’ll likely join in. So it’s time to don the plaid suitcoat, grow a cheezy mustache, and practice my pitches–I’m hoping this kind doesn’t elicit any bat-swinging, but you never know.


18 thoughts on “Recruiting

  1. Tom Stormcrowe

    Just don a Stars and Stripes Clawhammer coat and Red White and Blue top hat and tell\’em Uncle Caloi wants you! I\’d throw in with your relay, but the travel to the race is too far right now!

  2. Kelly

    So "D" is on your "B" list? I\’m sensing some sort of pattern here. This could get confusing as I consider myself a "K" for Kelly, though now my Mocha "M" is stuck as my name for everything and then there\’s my recent "F" in statistics class and then there\’s my bra size….

    Oh, no. Have I said too much? I\’ll stop.

    Grade A laughter from me on this one. Good job, "F".

  3. Unknown

    Hey, what happened to my comment?
    Mocha, it\’s pronounced Cal-oy.
    P.S. Here\’s what I said last time: Actually, forget it it\’s not worth re-typing. It was neither funny or insightful and it made fun of Rocky.

  4. Zed

    Caloi, rhymes with alloy. That\’s funny, I just talked to the aforementioned hefty cousin today, and he said he received some e-mail from me, but it had a weird name on it: kuh-louie or something. I said, "Caloi Rider?" "Yeah, that\’s it!"
    Bummer. I\’ve graduated and I\’m still getting bad grades. Will this never end?

    Tom- Anyone who knows me would respond with "but you\’re still a Canadian …" Bummer you can\’t make it, StormTom, but I figured Lotoja was more your style anyway. You comin\’ up for that one? Or do you want to put that on the \’07 schedule?

  5. Zed

    Come on now, Botched, all of your stuff is witty and insightful (what\’s this teaching method called again, Mocha? Pointlessness-ism or something?) By the way, I think I have our other two relay team members, so the hunt may be over. I\’ll let you know soon, eh?

  6. Tom Stormcrowe

    \’07 is the year for Lotoja! I\’m recruiting a couple of riders here as well to do Lotoja so it\’s not so expensive to drive out for it! That way, I have a support van there as well, true? I think finishing the Lotoja would be a great 2 1/2 yr post surgery finish to my book, what do you think? Think about it, 2 1/2 yrs from a wheelchair to riding the Lotoja! Book material?

  7. uncadan8

    Do it, Tom! Just do it! I know a couple people who have had the surgery and end up right back where they started. I would buy your book and give it to them!

  8. Zed

    Tom- My wife pointed at your comment and said she thinks that\’s a really good idea. Go for it, eh? See, Dan\’s already got you a guaranteed distribution of 3 or 4 copies.
    Jord- Just you and that Ruth girl you haven\’t proposed to yet.

  9. Scott

    I gotta stop reading this stuff at work.  I just shot Diet Dr Pepper out my nose when I read Mocha\’s comment about her bra size and all.  I need a bulgy-eyed smilie guy for that.  One that blushes. 
    I think I might look into that Lotoja thingy.  But first, I have to do the Hotter n Hell Hundred in Texas.  Peer pressure is getting to me on that one.  Maybe next year.

  10. Kelly

    Oh, can I just encourage Botched to continue with making fun of Rocky, please?

    Seriously, that never gets old.

    p.s. Alloy Caloi – heard from Erica yet? I\’m so excited for her and for this living vicariously through her.

  11. Zed

    Yes, by all means, Botched, make fun of Rocky. My curiosity is peaked as well.
    Erica? Not a word yet. Mind you, I haven\’t checked her site since Friday. I expect she\’s too busy CELEBRATING to drop us blog-readers a line. I suppose that\’s okay, right?
    Psycho- you ought to drop by Mocha\’s site. That sort of madness abounds over there.

  12. Kelly

    I\’m soooooo gonna take that as a compliment, Caloi. Whether you meant it or not. In fact, the recent \’madness\’ has provided some of the most thoughtful comments ever. They\’re blog-length, but good. Do drop by. 😉

    (it\’s the previous two posts)

  13. Scott

    Been there, Caloi.  Love the Mocha Momma!!  Very thought provoking indeed.  What man in their right mind doesn\’t love a beautiful, intelligent woman who can make flippant remarks about her bra size!!  And she rides a bike as well. 

  14. Zed

    Mocha- sorry, I keep forgetting that sarcasm has a hard time traveling through the blogwaves (except when you write it–why is that?). You really do have some seriously entertaining and witty posts over at your place, but you know as well as I do that you have your fair share of madness too.
    Psycho- glad you made it over there.

  15. Shari

    Good luck with that… I\’ve been trying to get a relay team together for the race to sunset thingie I wanted to do… so far, no takers. Aaaaaah. Good luck.
    It\’s only 12 hours though. I may just do it by myself out of desperation. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s